It's name is Fear.

Like many little one's blankets and teddy bears, I too had a constant companion as a child. It was not, however, a companion of comfort or warmth. It's name was Fear.

Obviously, it is not unusual for a child to have fears, something as simple as spiders or the dark can through many children into hysterics. But, I never did drop mine alongside the road, as many children do between childhood and teenage years. Suddenly it wasn't so much the dark that cause me to fear, although I admit I did not get entirely over that fear until just recently. Instead, the fear was of people, of life, of judgements.

So I lived with it. I saw others and taught myself to mimik, something that I now am fighting almost constantly. Unfortunatly, eventually I was mimiking too many people, and my "character" clashed against itself painfully. My life was a mess of desparatly trying to meet expectations, all the while trying to meet my own quota of teenage rebelliosness. I was a punch of pride and self hatred, a a tye-dye of timidity and aggresiveness, a web of wishful thinking and logic. (that sentance just left cheesy waaay begin) I loved to be competative, but only when know I would come out somewhere near the top, which, sadly, led to me doing very very few things in highschool.

And now here I am, 18, with not much of any idea who I actually am, and honestly not even sure who I'm not. But, the root, is gone. My old tag along has finally been dropped, and I am in good spirits, knowing that the result will most definatly be one which pleases my Lord.
Blessings,

Jordan