I am rather restless these days. I spend a great deal of time looking up ticket prices... most places cost between 800 and 1500 USD to go to. I can do that, but the problem is... will I? I know very well that school is a definite option. Part of me even thinks it is the one I SHOULD be choosing... but alas, the world is so big and exciting, so full of adventures just waiting to be had. And then I feel guilty. Are these not words of a rather selfish heart, seeking after selfish ambitions? I really wish my desires where the same as those of the Lord, that my passion was for souls. Maybe it is and I am just not aware of it... I don't know.
The greatest problem at this point is that I want something to support myself while I am away from Canada. Which means I must go to school. Darn it. It always comes back to me going to school, doesn't it? It's not that school is bad, I mean, I truly think I will enjoy it a great deal. It's just... commiting to that long in a program that scares me.
1 comment:
Wow, is this ever a struggle that I experience too. Restlessness comes in spurts, but ends up staying for long spurts. I confess it's a weakspot, and I realize it kind of implies discontentment with the life I have now. But sometimes I want to just run away, or at least just to get away and start anew somewhere really different and far away. But I also come to that realization that oh, I don't have enough $ to let myself stay in that place, so I'd need to find a job, and finding a job overseas can be difficult, so it'd be helpful having a degree/education to add to my resume. Then I wonder what to study, and get turned off by both how long studying would take, and the cost of going to school, and the fact that I can't even decide what to study! so then i wait...
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